I’ve been struggling for several weeks over the fact I cheated on my girlfriend – it was only once, but I’m not sure that makes it any better.
I love my girlfriend, but I’m working overseas while she’s at home and I’ve been lonely in her absence.
One night, after drinking too much, I got into a situation with a girl I work with.
She admitted she’s always liked me, but never made a move because she knows I’m seeing someone back home.
On the night in question, we had a kiss and one thing led to another and we slept together.
I felt immediately guilty afterwards, even though the sex was great, and I told her the next day that it couldn’t happen again.
If I’m honest, things have been a bit up and down with my girlfriend.
She’s getting fed up with me working abroad and now I’m not even able to get on a plane home to try to work things out with her.
I’m paranoid she suspects something because she keeps asking if things are OK with us and that I seem “distracted”.
Can you offer any advice on what I can do when we’re so far apart?
Most couples struggle with a long-distance arrangement.
It’s natural to feel lonely and miss intimacy with your partner, and you develop new friendships and start leading different lives.
You have to put in a lot of effort to maintain the connection.
You’re clearly struggling with the guilt – it’s a very uncomfortable feeling – so the question is, can you live with it or is it going to continue to eat away at you?
I guess what you’re thinking is that now isn’t a good time to come clean, as you can’t just hop on a plane and talk to her in person.
I think you have to be the judge of when you actually tell her.
It’s a make or break moment – it’ll help you to decide whether you can make this long-distance relationship work or if you’re going to go your separate ways.
If you do stay together, remember those feelings of loneliness and desire for intimacy won’t go away – it’s about finding ways to manage those challenges and bridge the gap until you can actually see each other.
And, temptation will always be there, too, so if you have to work with this girl, bear that in mind – although lockdown will take care of that for now.
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